.:: The StrongBrain Collective ::.

Humanity has an inherent affection to animals. They enamor us. Researchers and so-called intellects have spent countless brain hours surmising the cause of this relationship. But, allow me to elucidate, at least half of it, if I may: men and their desire to own cats; and women and their desire to own dogs. Of course, throughout the course of this discourse, you can reasonably assume that cat=woman; dog=man.

Why men love cats:
1. They're mysterious. You wonder what they know, what they're hiding.
2. They play hard to get, giving you the cold shoulder half the time, making you increasingly desire their affection...
3. ...And when you finally do get said affection, they purr, making you feel all cozy inside. "Yes!" you exclaim. "I finally got her!" However, you're putty in their paws.
4. They lick themselves all the time.
5. Sometimes they lick each other.
6. All it takes is touching/rubbing this one spot where the tail meets the back, and you've got a willing sex partner. All the time. No matter what. No headaches or "I'm tired" mantras.
7. They're shy about bodily functions and will not use the toilet unless it's hidden away in some corner where no one can watch. Plus they take little rabbit poops.

But you've got to take the good with the bad:
1. They're moody.
2. They're extremely jealous and will not suffer another cat in your life.
3. They'll never convey their reasons for being angry, it's up to you to figure out.

Why women love dogs:
1. They're so easily trainable. They do all you want, eagerly, without question or complaint.
2. They're so easy to please. Rub their tummy and they're your slave.
3. Always ready and willing with their tongue.
4. Will protect you at all costs.
5. They don't have an opinion of their own.
6. You get to keep them on a leash in public.

But you've got to take the good with the bad:
1. They're shameless displayers of their genitalia.
2. They'll hump anyone's leg when they want some.
3. Sometimes they take dumps on the rug.
4. They play stupid games, like "smelling the other guy's ass".