Published: May 15, 2001
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I have the flu. Or at least I think I do. So I did what any influenza stricken consumer would do. I purchased some Ny-Quil at the local Duane Reade for some $6.99.

Lo and behold the woe and lamentations I experienced upon reading that the active ingredient in Ny-Quil--alcohol--had diminished to a meager 10%. I used to try to get the flu on purpose just so that I could get that familiar, fuzzy Ny-Quil buzz on. What I got, unfortunately, was ex post Ny-Quil buzzkill supra.

Friends, enemies: I implore you to boycott Ny-Quil now. Instead, take a nice big swig of Jack Daniels'. The benefits are twofold: 1. it'll take you back to those grand yesteryears when Ny-Quil was 30% alcohol and 2. the influenza virus cannot sustain itself when the host imbibes alcoholic beverages.

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